India hates Pakistan

India hates Pakistan
So does the savvy same
South Asian unmentionables
In a 'I break your leg and you please do mine' game.

If I could add up my good deeds

If I could add up my good deeds
Against the ones that were bad
I would be quite unhappy
Perhaps possibly also quite sad
So next time I do a good turn
I should remember the need to earn
Much more of it
Before I say quit.

Sounds of silence

Enjoying the sounds of silence, after nine nights nightmare
Do I dare, do I dare ?

Never say no to a yes

Never say no to a yes
Never say yes to a no
It's easy to live life if
Not stopping before you go.

Making a mistake

Making a mistake is as human as not making one
Don't fret, cheer up, and let's all join the fun
For life, my dear, is here
Very near, very near.

Now since the West has been won

Now since the West has been won
And the visit, and the visa, has been fun
Time to tell Sam uncle that...
Look at me, I am not that fat
My folks so admire my dress
And like my strong ways, of saying yes
To you, Master of what you survey
In my heart and mind you will always stay
Thank you for the visa, and all that fun
Make it multi-entry, and I shall be done.

(Written three years back, on the great leader's first US visit...)

A cat just died

A cat just died
A cat was buried
A cat lover cried
Life goes on unhurried.

A new vision

I got a new pair of glasses
Now I need a new vision.

Students be like...

Students be like demanding customers, quickly wanting their fast food choice
Teachers be like ingratiating salesmen, with a hawk's eye on the amount in invoice.

Navaratri 2

Nine nights of ethnic disco next door
Too much of shor, too much of shor.

I would have been happy if I were sad

I would have been happy
If I were sad
But I am neither
And that's quite bad
For being placid
Is like acid
It corrodes.

Navratri

Nine noisy noose nights
Of going on in an around
Nine new ways of messing
The poor grass on the ground
Welcome the fancy dress do
Urban hip in rural ethnic shoe

I hate rainy days

I hate rainy days
I hate days in the Sun
I hate cold winters
I love whining, and now its done.

I wasn't ready to say yes

I wasn't ready to say yes
Nor was I keen to say no
Torn as I was, as usual wanting
Hot summer in pouring snow.

Great days will shortly be in short supply

Have a great day
For great days will shortly be in short supply
Given what he is upto, our dear Trump bhai.

I grow old, I grow old

I grow old, I grow old
And I already wear the bottom of my jeans rolled
And my wrist watch on the obverse side
TS and J. Alfred Prufrock beside.

I grew up as a man

I grew up as a man
Who knew his place in the scheme
But now I know much less
And much less do I dream
Of my role in the big order
At centre or at the border.

We will take an early bullet train

We will take an early bullet train
To hunger, dirt and disdain.

So many things to say, so little time to post

So many things to say
So little time to post
If it were not for Facebook
I wouldn't have been a ghost.

There was once a teacher

There was once a teacher
Who had one defect
Instead of telling what to
Said go find your own fact.

(05-09-17)

Ban the bloody notes

Ban the bloody notes
And go print much more
And when the deed is done
Get out of the backdoor.

(01-09-17)

All that glitters is gold

Age is a state of the mind
I see the mind in disagreement mutter
All that glitters is gold
And gold does at twenty something glitter.

(30-08-17)

I asked for it

I asked for feedback
To the course I recently took
I asked for it...

(25-08-17)

And that would be so much fun

You cannot please everybody
Nor can you please one
Instead, lets annoy the whole bunch
And that would be so much fun.

(24-08-17)

The Teacher

01

When he died
They wrote a glowing tribute
To his selfless love
(And loveless self)
A Teacher lived, once.

02.

To the teacher you say
Your reward is in the regard
Fraud of the vilest kind
Perpetuated while you guard
The riches thus garnered.

(22-08-17)

We should have a tank in every street

We should have a tank
In every street
Blocking the anti-nationals
And inspiring the patriotic traffic
Mayhem as usual.

(13-08-17)

Vande Mataram

Sun day for rum
Can I sing legally
In Ahmedabad
Compulsory or otherwise?

(11-08-17)

Male gaze

Male gaze
Gaze
Male
I see you
With lust
Or just
In any case
Who was first ?

(11-08-17)

Last night death came to one near me

Last night
Death came to one
Near me
And I was reminded
Once again
Of life.

(10-08-17)

Achhe Din

I was afraid
Of achhe din
That were coming
And did
At Chandigarh
Aa bail mera sir
Thank you for voting, and gloating.

(07-08-17)

How dare you complain

How dare you complain
Of being almost molested
By powers that be's son
This is India
And we are second to none.
Rape, Murder, Intimidation, Gall
Name it, we have it all
In Doklam we will show the Chinese
We are much better than them, in these.

(06-08-17)

Death Certificate Aadhaar

Now I can, die peacefully
Get yours, before you do
No one then will ever say
Someone followed in your shoe.

(04-08-17)

Character

A character is her motives
What if they were wrong
What if for no reason whatsoever
She broke into a song ?

(03-08-17)

The honourable men in power

The honourable men in power
Should sometimes take a shower
For the stink of their misdeeds
Is as barren as their seeds
It could well be strong perfumed
Without their fart its doomed.

(02-08-17)

To plot life, in three acts

To plot life
In three acts
And two facts
What I see and what I hear
In an order I hold dear
To plot life.

(02-08-17)

A twenty something doglover

A twenty something
Dog lover
Said, Man!
Her exposed midriff
Rich with indignation
And food.

(02-08-17)

I am a story, in three acts

I am a story, in three acts, with no resolution
To resolve is to cease
Can I continue a little more, please ?

(01-08-17)

Neighbours near and far

Neighbours near and far
Apart
Why disturb the apple cart
Of hate and hurt
When one can be happy
Let's just be snappy.

From now on I promise

From now on I promise
Not to litter Facebook
With bad attempts at poetry
I am going to try prose
Oh shit, you rose
To the bait, I mean
Please like, be seen.

Sometimes I go away

Sometimes I go away
In order to come back
Sometimes I return
To pick up things that I lack
But every-time that I move
I should have nothing at all to prove.

Chandni Chowk to China

Chandni Chowk to China
Is a bad film
But a good idea.

The Ahmedabad Nagpur Curse

The curse is upon us
And will probably stay
Till Nagpur remains the center
And Ahmedabad holds the sway.

No making fun of king

How dare you insult
The chief of our staff
Who of course can at will
Huff and puff, and make chaff
Look oh so good
And so be understood
No making fun of king
Else we will make you sing
The anthem that is national
You know we ain't no rational.

Noise is what Indians make

Noise is what Indians make
Noise is what Indians take
To their graves
Or funeral pyres
Even heaven (or most likely hell) tires
Of the fires that we lit
While we were at it.

To China I say

New shirts and jeans
New specs and shades
To China I say
How many more raids
On my poor pocket
My debt on a rocket.

I mend the wheels, you ride the bike

A student just wrote to me
That I have been unfair
In giving him the grades
And he therefore must share
It was a mistake to have
Me as his teacher
You must be right my dear
As I also do feature
In the people that I dislike
I mend the wheels, you ride the bike.

Knowing your neighbour

Knowing your neighbour
Without knowing him
May work at first
But would increasingly dim
Chances of knowing
And you will soon be reaping
What you are sowing.

Kisko ullu bana rahe ho

किसको उल्लू बना रहे हो
क्यों झाड़ पर चढ़ा रहे हो
तुम लोग क्यों तीन साल से
अपना पल्लू बचा रहे हो ?

Kisko ullu bana rahe ho
Kyon jhaad per chada rahe ho
Tum log kyon teen saal se
Apna pallu bacha rahe ho ?

You will be raided

You will be raided
If you say no
To a cow and bull story
Of times now or hoary.

Its better to be sorry

Its better to be sorry
Than safe
When an apology
Does the job.

Not a nail, not one screw

I seem to have wisdom
So I would think
After all these years
I let it all sink
No, please don't blink.
Its not at all true
Not a nail, not one screw.

Let there be light

Let it be, for today
Let there be sight
However short, however slight
Let there be light.

Cows

01
Cows shall inherit
My party's will
We shall overcome
(The gullible voter)
And swell on the kill.

02.
When we have judges
Who like cows
And all that they excrete
I meant the cows...

Life

Life is
Standing in the middle
Of a busy road
Not knowing when to cross
Or where
Do I dare, do I dare ?

I am rude

I am rude
And I am kind
I am lost
But sometimes find
The way of life
To peace or strife.

Kee farak painda hai please

What's good
About the morning today ?
The son has risen
While the father held sway
Or it may be a nephew or a lease
Kee farak painda hai please.

Don't kill the cow

Don't kill the cow
Let it die instead
Of plastic or hunger
Abandoned, not fed.

History revisited

History revisited
Is history denied
Nehru was the problem
And Savarkar the guide ?

Hair cuts

01

Hair cuts
Restore your self esteem
And destabilise
The cosmos
Just saying.

02

Waiting for the hair cut
Is as entertaining as
Dating oneself.

Holy Cows

The holy cows are home
All of them.

The best things in life

The best things in life
Aren't free
Of joy
A ploy
Of the best things in life.

Bitter Gourd

Truth is always bitter
A lie is far sweeter
Sweet is the way up to the Lord
Better have the bitter gourd.

Neighbour's envy

Neighbour's envy
Owners's pride
Makes neighbourhood hot
And sensex slide.

Never make fun of your neighbours

Never make fun of your neighbours
They may be the first ones to respond
To your heart attack
(If you have any, that is)

The world is inside

Keep looking
Outside the window
But the world is
Inside
Sometimes air-conditioned.

Ignorance is a good excuse

Perhaps I know life
Or perhaps I don't
But surely ignorance is a good excuse
And life itself one.

What fun

The Classroom
The Pulpit
And Facebook
All suffer one
What fun.

When the going gets tough

When the going gets tough
The tough take the bypass.

2019 will be won

2019 will be won
Rest of it will be fun
At our expense
Future as a past tense.

Paresh Rawal should be tied

Paresh Rawal should be tied
To the people he has lied
So that they may rest in fear
That Kashmir isn't so near.

On iCloud Nine

I have an iPhone now
I am on iCloud nine.

This is life

I hear somebody is dying
I hear somebody got hitched
I hear somebody has had twins
I hear somedbody just bitched
This is life.

The courts are right

The courts are right
When they rule in my favour
Rule of law is another matter
Not something that I savour.

What's the problem, man ?

What's the problem, man
Is it what you ate last night
Or the meteor which is going to crash in
On its terms and times
That were ?

I will be forgotten

I will be forgotten
With my fancies and my whims
My handsets and my sims
I will be forgotten.

The Window Seat

Why do you want the window seat
She had said
Be happy to be in the same bus
At least.

Who is right ?

Who is right
And who is wrong
When the verses are not fully written
And still unsung the song ?

Its good to be a teacher

Its good to be a teacher
Even when they don't feature
Your finicky foresight
Of making them do right
Perhaps love will come
When all parts have met their sum.

And he grows old

And he grows old
Sideburns white
Trousers tight
With a stomach.

Sights

Some sights
Rest in memories
Of such sights
Blind
To their recurrence.

Yes, do that smile, don't frown

It takes a lot to be happy
And very little to be sad
Given the need for happiness
We must all surely be mad
To want to be down
Yes, do that smile, don't frown.

One upon a time wisdom dawned on me

One upon a time, wisdom dawned on me.
Unfortunately it was too late, and I was sleepy, after days of trying.

When God's go weak

When God's go weak
And you need a law
For their protection
That's a fatal flaw
(Pun intended).

A Man

Son, husband, father, provider
Protector, performer, and a man
A live bird with its wings cut
A dead fish stuck in a can.

Alone, one needs to be in company

Alone, one needs to be in company
Amidst, one hankers to be on one's own
The Lord made each one of us slightly off
Busy as He/She is, in His/Her offish zone.

What if we were always happy

What if we did not feel his pain
The no-more funny and lonely clown
What if we were always happy
Always on top and never down ?

The man who is an ass

The man who is an ass
No offence to the ass
Sits in TV studios
And lets out his gas
Of the right kind
Stunk off his mind.

Sharmsaar Aankhen

Aankhen
Khushiyon Se Bhari
Ya Sharmsaar ?

आँखें
खुशियों से भरी
या शर्मसार ?

And he cried, and so did she

And he cried
And so did she
Mistaking the tears
They were
For the truth.

When the going gets tough

When the going gets tough
The tough get going
To bash up the weak
No country for the meek.

When I am dead and gone

When I am dead and gone
Or when I am still alive
Will I be known as
One who let the world thrive
In its miseries and pain
Or one who let in the rain ?

Perhaps it will all come to pass

Perhaps it will all come to pass
Perhaps we would have reason to rejoice
Years down, and nightmares later
The fruits of our wrongly informed choice.

It was not on the agenda

It was not on the agenda
Still I had it discussed
This thing about agendas
And how to have them discussed
And thus it went
The more it came
As you read on and
I write without shame.

Atoning for Kashmir

Once upon a time
There will be time
To atone for
Kashmir.

That's how I speak, that's how I am hushed

I scold, and am scolded
I rush, and am rushed
Whatever goes up, must come down
That's how I speak, that's how I am hushed.

Holy cow

Holy cow
Holy men
Holy state
Bura na maano
Holy hai !

Clean sweep

Clean sweep
Is the means
To dust away
Past sins
In future imperfect.

The wise stay nice & quiet

The wise stay nice & quiet
And watch the fools vent
Their life aloud on Facebook
As indiscreetly as was meant.

Never believe the teacher's words

Never believe the teacher's words
Never dig the student's distrust
The matter is quite simple and slight
Believe in the elf if you must.

Where the net is slow

Where the net is slow
And the food is bad
Where teaching is fun
And the taught have had
Me for days
It stays.

Memory of a memory

Memory of a memory
Still fresh as today
Whiffs of what was lost
Wafts of what did stay.

Dismembered truths

Dismembered truths
And put together lies
That's how it stays
And that's how it flies.

Different strokes

I knew
Have come to know
Will know
Similar stuff
Differently.

Serene and in strife

I am not really that honest
Nor am I a lout
Sometimes I keep quiet
And sometimes I shout
But at all times I am a life
Serene and in strife.

A free country

A country is free
So long as it is bound
To its critics
And their freedom.

Tourists view a country

Tourists view a country
Visitors comprehend
Residents show
But none of them really know.

See, I live with the dark

I am just and fair
See, I live with the dark
Down south or in Africa
And yes, I have a saffron bark.

I am so jealous of you

I am so jealous of you
And you dwell in their envy
While the river quietly flows
The waves crash into the sea.

Only when you travel out

Only when you travel out
That you come to know
What you had left behind
What already was on show.

Great to be killed, for a cow

Great to be killed
For a cow
Our country on the march
And how !

Happy to have got the date

The joy of discovering
When everybody already is wiser
Does what watching a sunrise
To a habitually late riser
Early or after a wait
Happy to have got the date.

Spare the cow

Spare the cow
Give romeo the stick
Turn vegetarian
Pray whose a..s you lick ?

When holidays are work

When holidays are work
And work seems like a holiday
Its time one took off
And stayed put, what say ?

I think women should not roam

I think women should not roam
And stay tight inside our home
Its macho holy men like me
Who win elections and clearly see
Them as a baby making machine
Are the only ones to come away clean
After spreading our piss and shit
Not ashamed, (No Sir) not one little bit.

And lets please eat the dove

So what if they were bad in the past
So what if they made hate so long last
Lets give them a chance, lets wait and see
We voted for them, its our destiny
To make war, not love
And lets please eat the dove.

Please God let be me born

One life for the thought
An other for the deed
One more for reflection
Next for the new seed
Please God let be me born
Again, and again, and on.

And then they came for me

And then they came for me
And I was alone
Having shed no tears
For them and their deeds
When they were
Just seeds.

Bharat Mata, Virender Sehwag and Randeep Hooda

One upon a time
There was Bharat Mata
Virender Sehwag and Randeep Hooda
Saving the Nation
From a 20 year old's
Facebook placard.

Love at first sight

Love at first sight
Is as spurious as
Diet coke with calories light.

What's a head, without a hat ?

Do this, and do that
Stay lean, and be fat
Here goes a rabbit, there a cat
What's a head, without a hat ?

Hey anti-national you !

Hey anti-national you
You are not free
Till we see
You in our colour
Saffron or you collar.

The Nation wants to know

The Nation wants to know
Its protectors' home country
Now since everyone else is
Anti-national.

Toothache

A toothache
Reminds one
Of being
One.

Being blind is sight

Might is right
The right is right
In this holy land of ours
Being blind is sight.

Let's beat them up

Let's beat them up
Those wanting to discuss
The culture of beatings
Pray, what's the fuss ?

Elements of Direction

He was shy
And she was not
Until they came along
And the film was shot
Ten shots that shone
One repeat, eight alone.

All one has is the now

The past is gone
The future yet to come
All one has
Is the now, and some
Memories and fears
Laughter and tears.

Wisdom for a Saturday

Wisdom for a Saturday
Sunday follows
So would Monday
That's life, no ?

Aaj pyaar ka din

Aaj pyaar ka din
Kal uski hai raat
Parson saugaat
Dushmani ki
Kyon na hum...
Pyaar karen kum
Aur dushmani aadhi
Baat hai seedhi sadhi.

आज प्यार का दिन
कल उसकी है रात
परसों सौगात
दुश्मनी की
क्यों न हम
प्यार करें कम
और दुश्मनी आधी
बात है सीधी साधी

Love is in the air

Love
Is in the air
So is suspended particulate matter.

And God gave Gujarat its Diu

And God gave Gujarat its Diu
High on Mount Abu.

Be the judge and the jury

The more you would care
Of what they would think
The less you can float
And the more you would sink
Be the judge and the jury
Of your sound, and your fury
Or better still; just chill.

Thus we shall die in debt.

Living the past
Leaving the present to the future
Thus we shall
Die in debt.

Life Is a four letter word

Life
Is a four letter word
Occasionally five
Too much, no ?

Madhumeh bhara man

Jeevan hai mere dost
Tamasha to nahin
Sare aam banten jo
Batasha to nahin
Batashe mein bhi to kuch
Hoti hai mithaas
Madhumeh bhara man
Ye batata to nahin

जीवन है मेरे दोस्त
तमाशा तो नहीं
सरे आम बंटे जो
बताशा तो नहीं
बताशे में भी तो कुछ
होती है मिठास
मधुमेह भरा मन
ये बताता तो नहीं

My uncertain self

I wasn't sure
Of my uncertain self
Till I looked into the mirror
And saw me calm.

If life were simple

If life were simple
One would complain
Of it
Now since its not
Enjoy
The hit
Below the belt
True as felt.

Checking on Incredible India

Incredible India
Is what I see
Their answer sheets
Of common sense free
Then they get in
And make some noise
At first they were dumb
Now throw their voice.

Judging the past

To judge the past
With today's eyes
Is as inaccurate
As stars in the skies
Visible during the day
Come what may.

Flying

01
Flying
Is a necessary evil
Quite unnecessary
For staying put.

02
If only one could fly
In the mind
And be there
In the body
Real flights
Are so shoddy
Much ado about a plane
Snail's sprint in the fast lane.

What's happening Arun

30 January 2013 ·

<To Facebook>

आप कहते हैं
व्हाट'स हैप्पेनिंग अरुण?
मैं कहता हूँ
आपको कैसे मालूम
कि कल सुबह सुबह हुई
और कल शाम शाम
कि कल काले कौए ने
रास्ते काटे थे
और भूरी बिल्ली ने
आसमान
कि कल मेरे
ढीले थे मोज़े
और कसी कसी थी
पतलून
कि कल मैं
अपने आप से
यही जवाब
सवाल रहा था
कि
व्हाट'स हैप्पेनिंग अरुण?

Aap kehte hain
What's happening Arun
Mein kehta hoon
Aapko kaise maloom
Ki kal subah subah hui
Aur kal sham sham
Ki kal kaale kauye nein
Raaste kaate the
Aur bhoori billi nein
Aasmaan
Ki kal mere
Dheele the moje
Aur kasi kasi thi patloon
Ki kal mein
Apne aap se
Yehi jawab
Sawaal raha tha
Ki
What's happening Arun ?

Never trust the straight road

Never trust the straight road
It may lead you astray
Never believe a liar
For he may have something to say.

On the way to become a good teacher

On the way to become a good teacher
I became a good student
And embraced bad.

The more you gain, the more you lose...

The more you gain
The more you lose
The feet were free
And then came the shoes.

Boy Meets Girl

Boy was supposed to meet girl
Instead he goes ahead and hugs
The boy
What joy
As to the girl
She went and cut her curl.

(Story of an open elective - too open, I say 😄)

If all of us had immortality

If all of us had immortality
And lived in harmony thereafter
We would create a boring world
With deathly peace and no laughter
For life lived short and in disarray
Is like the dark night followed by a bright day.

The price of a memory

As the memories of memories pile up
And I begin to get old
Would you know a place
Where all these can be sold
For free
The price of a memory.

Bun butter

People with opinions
And the ones without
All aim at silence
Of the ones who shout
I have an opinion
And I have none
What's the use of butter
Without the bloody bun ?

Law is an ass

Law is an ass
Or more precisely a bull
Amenable to anybody
Depending on the pull
Now since pride is restored
Some introspection is in order
The proud often miss the bus
At common sense's border.

Boy meets girl

Boy meets girl
And goes away again
If life were a film
And us not so insane.

Silence is golden

Silence is golden
Gold is old
In this world & age
The spoken is sold.

Take a break

Why don't you
Take a break
Repair it
And be awake
For leaving is
Arriving
And staying put
Is departure.

Cinema cannot be taught

Cinema cannot be taught
Nor can it be learnt
It happens when the student
Gets his fingers burnt
The teacher and his ward
In trying get award.

My kingdom for a selfie

My kingdom for a selfie
My house for one photo
My self for the moment
Their memories go on auto.

Life is

Life is
An honest lie
Sometimes brazen
Often shy.

Convocation speech

Convocation speech
All what we did
See you next year
To see what we feed
To you
Anew.

Teaching

To teach
Is to remember
Your ignorance.

Men go chasing Women

Men go chasing Women
Of whom they were born
Scared shit of selves
Choosing night over morn.

I shall be true this year

I shall be true this year
To my lies
Said the King
As he unleashed
A fresh wave of wit
Without it.

Demonetised cold

Can this new year
Make forever old
The juveniles
Who have successfully sold
That wrong is right
And chicanery bold
Surgically struck
Or demonetised cold ?

Meanwhile in bhaiyaland

Meanwhile in bhaiyaland
They are busy
Making it easy
For would be losers
To no longer feel queasy.